Seeing the pleasure I was told

Things didn't end like I wanted them to, but they didn't have to. My tarot reading ended with the six of cups, is that a call. It was something of Cups, even if that isn't the exact one. And I'm definitely feeling it now.

I'm going to live in a place that is a better fit for me, and I'm going to have a job that I like doing one of the many things that I enjoy! And right now, I'm in a position where I can afford to change jobs, because I'm not paying rent.

I grieflessly acknowledged that the way I wanted things in the way things are supposed to be were definitely two different paths. I'm supposed to be happy with my housing and job situations, not constantly fighting for them. Even though the long-term situations have yet to start, they already have much better outlooks in the past situations I've been in.

7 jobs since March

Since March 17th, I'm going to be on my 7th job. I'm going to start with the cleaning company that I'm very excited about, and they asked for a year-long commitment. I don't have any foreseeable things in the way, but hopefully I can commit to it! And if I can't, I tried!

I was hoping to be able to come back and just have one job, and now I'm on seven! This is going to be super painful for my taxes, trying to keep up with all the W-2 forms in the event my past employers aren't as on the ball as they should be.

And on this last job one co-worker stole from me while we were still in training, and two other coworkers are super ignorant misogynistic parents. it's no wonder how I got us some of these jobs so quickly, but the worst definitely had to be the liquor store! That is the decline of humanity! That got me to quit drinking!

I'm not looking forward to January but whatever happens needs to happen by April. I'll just take all the W2s I have and say "fuck it" to the rest, when it's close to the deadline. and I'm not going to wait till the last minute to make my tax filing appointment, either.

But usually employers know better than that, I just hate that I have so many to deal with.

A week stay and a 3 day job

I had a friend that let me stay with them for a while, but I can only stay for a week because the roommates were super weird and freaking out about a stranger being in the house. One of them was a white male and the others were going along with him, which doesn't sound very different from any other situation about white male Supremacy. I really don't care what your problem is when you getting ready to kick me out in the cold for literally no reason.

Transitioning from white men to black women: I quit my job after 3 days For two reasons. The company is terrible. Completely disorganized, their stuff doesn't work, and it's not worth the money to have to sit at a desk. I would rather be doing something with my time, and actually working. I also had their own issues with white supremacy with their boss telling us that since she's the one who's paying this we should listen to her, and yelled across the room at people that were talking loud. On to my ignorant co-workers, two black mothers that are totally down with the colonial heteropatriarchy white supremacy, and they don't even know it. You got onto the topic of children and I knew that they were a shitshow and one of them said at the "you can't love an adopted child the way you can love your own" bit. I'm sorry you lack the capacity and compassion to truly love someone, but don't put your issues on me.

But it really devolved when we got into the conversation that went into boys will be boys when they were talking about their sons grabbing girls butts. One of them openly admitted that she didn't care about what happened to the girl, she cared about what the girl would go back and tell her parents and that her son to be arrested. They're not teaching their sons to respect girls and women. They're more interested in teaching their sons not to get caught. And it's really disappointing to me with both of these people were girls at one point in their lives. they also said that they wanted their children to express interest in girls so they wouldn't be gay. So they're picking and choosing with their sexualizing about children, as well. speaking of which, they said that I would be making my child gay and fucking up their lives by taking them to a child psychologist if I decided to resolve the behavior using that method. Of course, they continue to misgender me and practically threatened me with childbirth, and how it would change my perspective on everything and that my idea of how children act is completely unrealistic.

This kind of stuff makes me ready to give up on black people. I know that most of them don't think like I do and conceited to being products of their environment, unlike myself. I find that most black people really aren't trying to think of anything outside the box that white supremacy gave them. but I'm definitely going to be in active advocate for girls taking self-defense classes, because now I personally know parents that don't give a shit about girls.

My "last day" at "work"

Today got off to a great start and then crashed and burned! but I'm still in one piece and I have my house, so I won't complain too much. 🍷

I got on the bus and a list to the polls, worked my way around the ID kerfuffle to be able to get the job that starts on the 12th, and went to my volunteer gig. There's no way around having to get a copy of my birth certificate and having to pay almost $100 for everything that it requires. But it's best I don't run around with an expired ID. Apparently having an expired out of state ID makes you less of an American citizen. Colonialism, am I right?

I was fortunate to be able to work around it for the sake of employment, but I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to get away with much. Fortunately, my voter ID card was good enough identification because it has its own number!

And I actually quit my job last night, but it came in for the volunteer portion. Being paid would have subjected me to the elements while bus/ spot canvassing, while doing the phone and text banking as volunteer experience would have me sitting cozy in a building with mostly like-minded people, and food! It's the get out to vote movement that's important, not how I do it. I said to hell with that $15 an hour for only 3 hours and did a 5 hours of text Banking, and I feel like I got a lot more done! I listen to music, I ate food, and didn't have to worry about where I was using the restroom!

And of course the co-director came down and asked me how was canvassing was, and I told him that I decided to forego the paid position due to the weather and text bank as a volunteer to be indoors. You really should have seen the look on his face. People are always surprised what I'm willing to sacrifice for my own comfort. And a black person told a white man he can keep his money and they aren't going to do what he wants them to do. This was wonderful for a lot of different reasons! Fortunately, that person was heading in as I was heading out!

I got a bottle of Ruby port, and after that is when things fell apart. It was really just that dumb Lyft driver that I hope no one has to suffer through. He doesn't know the area, he majorly lacks communication skills, and really shouldn't be a local driver to the area. I complained and got a refund, but after I already wasted 30 minutes that I could have been spent being closer to getting back to where I'm currently staying about 30 minutes earlier! And, of course, I still had to take public transportation. I just wanted a quick quiet ride home without fluorescent lights and dirty floors and seats - but apparently that was too much to ask of this bum rush City. The bus was fine, but the train is always messy in one car or another - mine tonight had chicken pieces in it. but I got back to where I'm staying safe and sound. I'm watching internet videos under a nice warm heater with a cup of Rudy Port. I may eat some food. I'll deal with whatever their election results are tomorrow. Right now, it's time for rest. 🍗🐟🍷🌌🏙️🌃🚿🛁🛏️📱

2619 no more

I've processed my feelings about what happened already. Lenard and Patricia are white devils, and 2619 Cedar Avenue South is no longer my home because of it. Of course I want them to suffer for what they've done, but it really makes no difference to me whether they suffer or not. And evil people have a way of lasting a long time. But, house could collapse. The faulty wiring could be ignited. Wood can rot. Pipes can bust. They would suffer more from buying the house and then suddenly being homeless due to a disaster, then my original go to of just dying painful deaths. Truth be told, they will always be suffering. They're both so engrossed in how traumatized they are, trauma and disasters pretty much their life. That sounds like suffering to me.

I haven't woken up with bug bites on my face since I left the house. I don't have to worry about mice being nestled in my clothes and trash. There has been no people yelling in this neighborhood, no gunshots, and no ert sirens. I knew that most any area I would move to would be better than 26th and Cedar because of the nature of that area. It's absolute chaos, and really no one should be forced to live in such a polluted environment.

No one except them. white people should definitely lived in the traumatized area that they have systematically set up for poor people of color.