I haven't seen my therapist and weeks, but I'm flushing out my feelings on various platforms, including talking to people in person. I feel myself starting to come down from the anger of what happened at my previous house. As I'm coming down from how I think about it, I'm starting to have violent dreams about the people I interacted with. I don't have any guilt to address, we're just having pity arguments that escalate. I guess that's a part of my emotional detox, but I am still on the path of changing my thinking. Those old people are invested in a crumbling platform. Broken relationships, built off of toxic intentions, and a house that can literally collapse at any moment due to the offset foundation. The most I think about it now is how much more it would convenient it would be to get to and from work on Lake Street. But now I think about it in terms of not willing to sacrifice convenience for peace.
I have peace in the home that I am residing in now, and I hope to have peace in my next location. and the convenience of getting to and from work wouldn't do me any good, if I were injured or died in a collapsed house. I wouldn't be able to focus at work with all the drama going on at the house. I want work to be work, not an escape from other tensions. I didn't feel like I came out a winner, initially, but I know that I did, and I'm going to start acting like it. I was forced out of a dysfunctional situation with toxic people, in a soon-to-be dilapidated house. and I was forced out, after I made the very poor personal decision of trying to be dedicated to it, so it's clear that the Universe has other plans for my mental, physical, emotional, and financial well-being.
On the subject of work, I've been going in less due to the weather. I've picked up on some of my former better habits of meditation, burning sage and incense, drinking more water, and doing my stretches more regularly. I've added on getting massages. I've also picked up some great detox teas!
It's also become apparent that my job is not a very reliable source of income, so I'm branching out to consider other forms of income. right now, the ideas to invest more in my art, and hopefully be able to monetize that and do commissions. More monetization of products, than personal commissions. I also might try to get in on that YouTube money - that apparently no one is making these days and everyone's going to patreon! of course, I have no intention of silly depending on YouTube, if I decide to do that. With its ad monetization flaws, censorship demonetization, and so many other political and social issues. I think my art is the best route, but the two routes that I've thought of our way better routes than depending on an inconsistent work and client flow.
Hopefully, the ups will keep going up.
