June: MORE LIKE DEBT MONTH THAN PRIDE MONTH!

This June didn't really feel like pride month, but I feel like I'm very over it with white queers, and that had a lot to do with it. I also feel like the city wasn't as festive with their pride garb and paraphernalia, this year. this weekend is quiet though, because a lot of people went to New York City for the Stonewall 50th anniversary celebration.

and that's only got caught up in an avalanche of debt. My main bank account closed, I got turned over to collections by my side bank account. My new main bank account logged me out, because the funds from my side account didn't transfer over because of an order that was supposed to be canceled. It's really been one bad luck thing after another, with money. And it's all because of these institutions. I would have been better off if I just paid cash for everything that I did.

every step to my friends to send positive energy my way to get the money Gremlins off me, and I'm going to look up rituals and spells myself. as terrible as this all is, I'm trying not to stress out about it because there's nothing I can do without any income. I'm looking for a job, but I would rather start in August or September, and make content all summer and do what I can for my own business while I have time.

I'm also tired of all this rigmarole and bouncing between jobs. As much as I wanted to hang out here until the 2020 presidential election, this is more into my doubts of whether or not I'm going to make it. this experience has been very unnecessarily difficult, but has somehow balanced out to being incredibly easy and other things, that distort my view on how much it's worth it. and I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach, which I'm very thankful for. But my financial situation is too fragile and falls apart at any slight push, and it's be shady, manipulating employers that make it that way. I got to figure out a way to get out and stay out of this rat race.

Seeing the pleasure I was told

Things didn't end like I wanted them to, but they didn't have to. My tarot reading ended with the six of cups, is that a call. It was something of Cups, even if that isn't the exact one. And I'm definitely feeling it now.

I'm going to live in a place that is a better fit for me, and I'm going to have a job that I like doing one of the many things that I enjoy! And right now, I'm in a position where I can afford to change jobs, because I'm not paying rent.

I grieflessly acknowledged that the way I wanted things in the way things are supposed to be were definitely two different paths. I'm supposed to be happy with my housing and job situations, not constantly fighting for them. Even though the long-term situations have yet to start, they already have much better outlooks in the past situations I've been in.

A week stay and a 3 day job

I had a friend that let me stay with them for a while, but I can only stay for a week because the roommates were super weird and freaking out about a stranger being in the house. One of them was a white male and the others were going along with him, which doesn't sound very different from any other situation about white male Supremacy. I really don't care what your problem is when you getting ready to kick me out in the cold for literally no reason.

Transitioning from white men to black women: I quit my job after 3 days For two reasons. The company is terrible. Completely disorganized, their stuff doesn't work, and it's not worth the money to have to sit at a desk. I would rather be doing something with my time, and actually working. I also had their own issues with white supremacy with their boss telling us that since she's the one who's paying this we should listen to her, and yelled across the room at people that were talking loud. On to my ignorant co-workers, two black mothers that are totally down with the colonial heteropatriarchy white supremacy, and they don't even know it. You got onto the topic of children and I knew that they were a shitshow and one of them said at the "you can't love an adopted child the way you can love your own" bit. I'm sorry you lack the capacity and compassion to truly love someone, but don't put your issues on me.

But it really devolved when we got into the conversation that went into boys will be boys when they were talking about their sons grabbing girls butts. One of them openly admitted that she didn't care about what happened to the girl, she cared about what the girl would go back and tell her parents and that her son to be arrested. They're not teaching their sons to respect girls and women. They're more interested in teaching their sons not to get caught. And it's really disappointing to me with both of these people were girls at one point in their lives. they also said that they wanted their children to express interest in girls so they wouldn't be gay. So they're picking and choosing with their sexualizing about children, as well. speaking of which, they said that I would be making my child gay and fucking up their lives by taking them to a child psychologist if I decided to resolve the behavior using that method. Of course, they continue to misgender me and practically threatened me with childbirth, and how it would change my perspective on everything and that my idea of how children act is completely unrealistic.

This kind of stuff makes me ready to give up on black people. I know that most of them don't think like I do and conceited to being products of their environment, unlike myself. I find that most black people really aren't trying to think of anything outside the box that white supremacy gave them. but I'm definitely going to be in active advocate for girls taking self-defense classes, because now I personally know parents that don't give a shit about girls.

2619 no more

I've processed my feelings about what happened already. Lenard and Patricia are white devils, and 2619 Cedar Avenue South is no longer my home because of it. Of course I want them to suffer for what they've done, but it really makes no difference to me whether they suffer or not. And evil people have a way of lasting a long time. But, house could collapse. The faulty wiring could be ignited. Wood can rot. Pipes can bust. They would suffer more from buying the house and then suddenly being homeless due to a disaster, then my original go to of just dying painful deaths. Truth be told, they will always be suffering. They're both so engrossed in how traumatized they are, trauma and disasters pretty much their life. That sounds like suffering to me.

I haven't woken up with bug bites on my face since I left the house. I don't have to worry about mice being nestled in my clothes and trash. There has been no people yelling in this neighborhood, no gunshots, and no ert sirens. I knew that most any area I would move to would be better than 26th and Cedar because of the nature of that area. It's absolute chaos, and really no one should be forced to live in such a polluted environment.

No one except them. white people should definitely lived in the traumatized area that they have systematically set up for poor people of color.