My "last day" at "work"

Today got off to a great start and then crashed and burned! but I'm still in one piece and I have my house, so I won't complain too much. 🍷

I got on the bus and a list to the polls, worked my way around the ID kerfuffle to be able to get the job that starts on the 12th, and went to my volunteer gig. There's no way around having to get a copy of my birth certificate and having to pay almost $100 for everything that it requires. But it's best I don't run around with an expired ID. Apparently having an expired out of state ID makes you less of an American citizen. Colonialism, am I right?

I was fortunate to be able to work around it for the sake of employment, but I have a feeling I'm not going to be able to get away with much. Fortunately, my voter ID card was good enough identification because it has its own number!

And I actually quit my job last night, but it came in for the volunteer portion. Being paid would have subjected me to the elements while bus/ spot canvassing, while doing the phone and text banking as volunteer experience would have me sitting cozy in a building with mostly like-minded people, and food! It's the get out to vote movement that's important, not how I do it. I said to hell with that $15 an hour for only 3 hours and did a 5 hours of text Banking, and I feel like I got a lot more done! I listen to music, I ate food, and didn't have to worry about where I was using the restroom!

And of course the co-director came down and asked me how was canvassing was, and I told him that I decided to forego the paid position due to the weather and text bank as a volunteer to be indoors. You really should have seen the look on his face. People are always surprised what I'm willing to sacrifice for my own comfort. And a black person told a white man he can keep his money and they aren't going to do what he wants them to do. This was wonderful for a lot of different reasons! Fortunately, that person was heading in as I was heading out!

I got a bottle of Ruby port, and after that is when things fell apart. It was really just that dumb Lyft driver that I hope no one has to suffer through. He doesn't know the area, he majorly lacks communication skills, and really shouldn't be a local driver to the area. I complained and got a refund, but after I already wasted 30 minutes that I could have been spent being closer to getting back to where I'm currently staying about 30 minutes earlier! And, of course, I still had to take public transportation. I just wanted a quick quiet ride home without fluorescent lights and dirty floors and seats - but apparently that was too much to ask of this bum rush City. The bus was fine, but the train is always messy in one car or another - mine tonight had chicken pieces in it. but I got back to where I'm staying safe and sound. I'm watching internet videos under a nice warm heater with a cup of Rudy Port. I may eat some food. I'll deal with whatever their election results are tomorrow. Right now, it's time for rest. 🍗🐟🍷🌌🏙️🌃🚿🛁🛏️📱

My neck

With fall comes a lot of change! My life has a lot of change. Jobs, friends, and all. I'm looking for a new place to stay because my roommates are very boring and lackluster about life. My emotions are also scary to them, though I haven't done anything scary. I can really live without them, but I don't work to my ass off for a $700 place by myself in the inner city. I actually like having roommates. This is the first place I've been with people I dislike, and it's the same place I've ever paid for on my own. I wonder what that's suppose to tell me. I might resume camping come summer, because I don't hang out with wimps. Selfish wimps, to make it worse. I'm aiming for jobs that pay a little more than what I'm making now, and hopefully everything will work out, so I can have a higher budget for rent. I'm way to in love with my life for these people.

At the sametime, my health is taking a serious turn. There's a high chance my neck is going to need some kind of surgery, due to a lump that has been on my thyroid for months. It's soft, not pained, and  moveable, so hopefully it's just weird fat. If it's fat, it can stay - that's not knife or drain worthy.

We'll see how things go. I'm 28, now. I'm too old for this shit.

Sometimes, one looks back

I recently looked at the blogs and art on sites that I've been on (and off) of for a long time. There are a few site that I've been on for 5 to 10 years, already. On some blogs I could go back as far as '09. To me, that's a long way back - it was 3 years before I got my GED. That means it was after the main part of my depressive stages as a teenager after I dropped out of school There are some things that I thought would change with time, or would change when I changed the environment, but it turns out that a personality doesn't change.

What can be said is that the changes that were made were no-doubt necessary for my own sake. I'm glad I'm no longer in that place, with those people, doing those things. No more bad company due to lack of self worth. No more "so-called" loved ones only using me and denying me my true self. So many personal wars have ended, while other small battle rage on, but I know that closure doesn't exist. Battles and wars will continue for as long as I live. I will try to make the wars shorter, and the battles less bloody, but that is all I can try to do.

PHASES - I'm In Love With My Life [Mystery Skulls Remix]

So much

A lot of time has come past with a lot of events. I've joined and left fandoms. Fallen in and out of love with places and people. Joined and left communities - some communities even being shut down while we were having fun. I think I've grown a lot since my last blogger post (on the previous blog page), but a lot goes on in a person's 20s. I've become a dedicated traveler, which is a path that I know is going to get me where I want to be as a person.

I've tried over sites, but Blogger really is the best place for me to post my serious feelings. I want to keep track of them, because I want to keep in mind who I was to help me appreciate who I am. I've been through a lot, so far, and I know I have so much more to go. My personality and values are going to be the last things to change, but how I handle things always varies with a situation. I'm actually move serious than I have room to be, because I want o go with the flow. It makes thing easier, and I feel like it's the best path to keep me from being an angry person.

I'm coming to the point in my life where I'm coming to terms with my chooses, and I have to stop bashing myself for everything I do. So far, a lot of what I've done has gotten me where I want to be, but maybe not in the ideal situation that I would want to be WITHIN the bigger picture of it. I've gotten more into my spirituality and self-care. I still belly dance, but I've decided against making it a marketable skill (at least for now). Yoga, and those other things are still going on when they can. Due to recent conditions I haven't been able to get a lot of sleep or do self-care things, but even that has changed now and will change even more in the future.

I do more than just women's rights and LGBTQ rights, now-a-days. I focus on everything linking to racial justice - mass incarnation, Black Lives Matter, poverty, and so on. I also promote alternative/ self sustaining ways of living - squatting, permanent camping, earth-shares, etc. Many times I've considered traveling with a political theme, but it seems like that would disrupt the "going with the flow" thing. I keep from burning myself out by addressing matters as they come up, rather than walking around with everything on my back all at once.

And, still today... I'm very much still a bi and trans individual. I've become more proud of myself in a racial way. I use to be a very unhappy black person. Now, I'm a mildly discontent black person, but more so because how other people address me over how I address myself. Police brutality is the HEADWAYING issue, so it's show up and show out time for all the modern negros.

One recent theme that really been getting on my nerves - on a personal level, is when I say something about "my future wife" men really the need to make the interrogation with "or husband, you never know". First of all, I don't need to be corrected. What I said was right, and if I want your input I'll tell you what it is. Secondly, I'm not here for you to adjust for your amusement. Third, if you wouldn't do it to a men, don't to a woman/ female/ vagina wielder. Or, if you wouldn't do it to a hetero don't to it to a bi, gay, etc - or vise versa. Forth, with that attitude way would I want a husband. You're already showing me that men don't have any respect for me so why should I put up with that? I don't need someone with a penis to own property or sign documents. I'm not reproducing. I can lift and open my own things, and when I can't I have tools to help me. I basically don't need men, for the "purpose" of "being men". They're cool to hang out with, when they aren't being misogynists or any other kind of hate, just like any other non-male/ man person. That's all they mean to me. I'm still very sexually attracted to men, but that's nothing sexy about misogyny and the patriarchy.