Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Enough is enough!

Since I've left Boston and came out to the Twin Cities I've been beating myself to a pulp. I'm not good looking. I'm not smart. No one I like respects me. All that kind of shit. None of it's true. I may not be what I want to be, but I am what I am, and that's all I have!

I've decided to end it. I'm relatively alright looking. That's good enough. I'm loyal! I'm ok with the smarts. I don't really care about being smart. I just felt stupider than the last person I had attraction for. I felt like they didn't respect me because of the intelligence gap. Fuck that, now, though. First of all, they said anything like that. They picked on me once and I took it really hard because of past events, but if they really didn't respect me they wouldn't have hung out with me. I still have a hard time accepting that i like men/ males/ masco but I need to get over that for my own sake. I'm also accepting that I've been single for a long time and I want to change that. I want a partner (in crime), and I'm very into Asians and some types of whites, so that's what I'm looking for!

I really blew up all over the person I like via text and social media. There's no turning back from that. I would still rather people know how I feel, and it being open and honest ends their interest in me there's nothing I can do about that. If it doesn't we can keep moving forward, together!

But, in the meantime I need to be realistic and straighten out things I will and won't accept from people.What am I looking for in a partner and all that. Set guidelines and standards, but still be attracted to whomever I want. There are few written in stone with me.

Ok! I'm ready! Let's do this! It's more-than-friend-type relationship time!

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