I have failed you in every way

Another part of the reason why I took the rejection from the person I liked so harsh is that I changed nothing for them. I've been noticed to bring about change to those around me. I couldn't change anything for a person that I really cared about, and I'm so disappointed in myself. I just want to forget Boston ever happened.

On the other hand, I don't doubt that I needed for all that to happen, even though I don't like most of it. I met some great people, and I wouldn't take that back. The person that I expressed myself to didn't answer me, and someone I talked to said that a non-answer is an answer. It's dead. I accept that it's dead. Time to bury it. Pray over it and move on.

But, now I feel so useless. It feels like I'll never be able to help someone I care about and truly deserves my affection. Not all these other unworthy fucks I've had feelings for. Someone actually doing something with their life and has hopes and dreams and all that good admirable stuff. Of coruse, a part of me wants to quit and continue to be single and reject anymore romantic feelings, but I'm not going to quit this time. I'm sick of quitting when it comes to this part of my life. I'm going to keep trying and hope it works out. I'm going to accept the down time, though.