Zika Addiction

(Written while I was still in Boston. Posted after I left.)

I am considering taking another break from couchsurfing for a while. My most recent host from Boston uses couchsurfer for shopping. You know what I'm talking about. We had a talk earlier that day and I thought I was going to be able to think of them in a cool way up until I left, but the universe reminded me that sex rules all expect me.

The other guest had been there for 2 days, most of the talking they did was from the host, she said she might have Zika AND THE HOST TO BE AT WORK IN AN HOUR and they had sex. Are you real? That's just too much for me. That's just way too irresponsible for me to maintain respect for them. They seriously put sex before their well-being and livelihood. I know it happens all the time, but I don't associate with people that do that kind of thing. I can take this for what it is, because as of now my only other choose is the streets but after this I'm never speaking to them again. I'm probably never coming back to Boston again if this is all I can get.

To be honest with you while I'm here I'm interested in observing this behavior. There seems to be a need to be surrounded by people even though it's been expressed that it's undesired. I'm disgusted but not so much to ignore it. Something deep is going on with this situation by psychological means and I don't want to turn a blind eye to the educational value of this experience.

Once upon a time I wanted to fit in with mainstream culture. Yes, they are miserable, and they are miserable together. They have community and each other to turn to in their suffering. But, now I see I don't want to suffer like them. I don't want to suffer with them. I don't want to suffer at all and being away from them is the only way to do that. What happens with my isolation I don't consider suffering. I will not look for their approval. I will not be upset with them, anymore. I will just observe them.