Boundaries and respect

In July, I'll have been in this house for a year. Though many have come and gone, I will feel a sense of accomplishment for surviving a year in dramaland. The new housemate does coke and has other strange behavior that could mean he has something mental going on. I recently expressed that I'm uncomfortable with a housemate on hard drugs, and the house manager agreed with me at first, but then turned around and decided to tell him not to do coke in the house anymore and that issue is ok. Some other behaviors, as well.

I'm looking for a new place to stay (again), but I already know that with my budget it's hard to find a place worth while, so I'm setting stricter boundaries with both of them. The house manger will not get away with ignoring my pronouns and identity anymore. The coke one is not allowed to contact me outside of text and note, because he feels like we should talk whenever he wants to talk whether or not I want to, and add he can talk for a long time. So now, he's only allowed to contact to me on platforms that are also document-able for future ref, if he shows more odd behavior. In-person is only for house meetings and phone calls are only for emergencies.

I dislike having to be this way, but it has to be done. Hopefully, I find an overall better place, but I'm conjuring up a back-up plan if I don't in due time.

Zika Addiction

(Written while I was still in Boston. Posted after I left.)

I am considering taking another break from couchsurfing for a while. My most recent host from Boston uses couchsurfer for shopping. You know what I'm talking about. We had a talk earlier that day and I thought I was going to be able to think of them in a cool way up until I left, but the universe reminded me that sex rules all expect me.

The other guest had been there for 2 days, most of the talking they did was from the host, she said she might have Zika AND THE HOST TO BE AT WORK IN AN HOUR and they had sex. Are you real? That's just too much for me. That's just way too irresponsible for me to maintain respect for them. They seriously put sex before their well-being and livelihood. I know it happens all the time, but I don't associate with people that do that kind of thing. I can take this for what it is, because as of now my only other choose is the streets but after this I'm never speaking to them again. I'm probably never coming back to Boston again if this is all I can get.

To be honest with you while I'm here I'm interested in observing this behavior. There seems to be a need to be surrounded by people even though it's been expressed that it's undesired. I'm disgusted but not so much to ignore it. Something deep is going on with this situation by psychological means and I don't want to turn a blind eye to the educational value of this experience.

Once upon a time I wanted to fit in with mainstream culture. Yes, they are miserable, and they are miserable together. They have community and each other to turn to in their suffering. But, now I see I don't want to suffer like them. I don't want to suffer with them. I don't want to suffer at all and being away from them is the only way to do that. What happens with my isolation I don't consider suffering. I will not look for their approval. I will not be upset with them, anymore. I will just observe them.

Theta: Overwhelming Righteous Boston

The people that offered the place and job reneged their offer. They originally said  it was for security issues because I left so quietly, but I don't believe that. I really think it was my attitude towards some of the behavior that goes on in the house, and the fact that those disrespectful kids had sex on the couch. There's also a past issue of someone else that they tried to help and ended up ripping them off.

I feel it's for the best. I was getting frustrated with the temp service operation and Boston's layout really pisses me off. And, I think I made it clear about how I feel about sexual behavior in my last post. I feel like things like that should be handled more discreetly when their are other people in close proximity. Don't have sex in the living room (more so when it's attached to someone else's sleeping area AND there are other guests in the same room with you), and close the door to your bedroom. If you're the loud type that can't be helped, but closing the door is an "at least we tried".

They said that they talked to the other roommates about the situation, but when I talked to the others 1 said they weren't told anything and they others only knew that I left but they didn't say anything about any "security issues", and didn't give the impression that they knew I was still allowed in the apartment but that I was leaving soon due to the change in decisions.

I don't like being lied to, but it's probably for the best. No more drama needs to happen in the house than need-be. I was told traffic in the house would deceased due to the security issues, but there are other behind that, if that's even a truth to go on. Not that matters to me, but it came up so it's to be addressed too.

Unfortunately, this is a host with a one sided view of the respect and boundary lines between guests and hosts. I didn't have the talk I usually have with my hosts about understanding that we are equal in the risks we take and getting their views on how general respect is handled. But, with the other things that went on I think I've seen and learned enough from their end. It's disappointing that I didn't get my end out in the open, but that doesn't matter now either. This host doesn't do a good job of getting to know their guests before unloading their ideals on them. It's what happens when the cause(s) take over.

I would like to think a need for slow down was seriously considered instead of being a cover up, but not everything that needs to be slowed down will be.

~

.Hack field titles recurring theme, now. I'm going to see if any keywords fro the real game series will ever apply to a post and use those. A little extra something for the .Hack fans and if you still have the games maybe visit those areas.