(Written while I was still in Boston. Posted after I left.)
I am considering taking another break from couchsurfing for a while. My most recent host from Boston uses couchsurfer for shopping. You know what I'm talking about. We had a talk earlier that day and I thought I was going to be able to think of them in a cool way up until I left, but the universe reminded me that sex rules all expect me.
The other guest had been there for 2 days, most of the talking they did was from the host, she said she might have Zika AND THE HOST TO BE AT WORK IN AN HOUR and they had sex. Are you real? That's just too much for me. That's just way too irresponsible for me to maintain respect for them. They seriously put sex before their well-being and livelihood. I know it happens all the time, but I don't associate with people that do that kind of thing. I can take this for what it is, because as of now my only other choose is the streets but after this I'm never speaking to them again. I'm probably never coming back to Boston again if this is all I can get.
To be honest with you while I'm here I'm interested in observing this behavior. There seems to be a need to be surrounded by people even though it's been expressed that it's undesired. I'm disgusted but not so much to ignore it. Something deep is going on with this situation by psychological means and I don't want to turn a blind eye to the educational value of this experience.
Once upon a time I wanted to fit in with mainstream culture. Yes, they are miserable, and they are miserable together. They have community and each other to turn to in their suffering. But, now I see I don't want to suffer like them. I don't want to suffer with them. I don't want to suffer at all and being away from them is the only way to do that. What happens with my isolation I don't consider suffering. I will not look for their approval. I will not be upset with them, anymore. I will just observe them.
Showing posts with label sexual behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual behavior. Show all posts
Monday, March 21, 2016
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Theta: Overwhelming Righteous Boston
The people that offered the place and job reneged their offer. They originally said it was for security issues because I left so quietly, but I don't believe that. I really think it was my attitude towards some of the behavior that goes on in the house, and the fact that those disrespectful kids had sex on the couch. There's also a past issue of someone else that they tried to help and ended up ripping them off.
I feel it's for the best. I was getting frustrated with the temp service operation and Boston's layout really pisses me off. And, I think I made it clear about how I feel about sexual behavior in my last post. I feel like things like that should be handled more discreetly when their are other people in close proximity. Don't have sex in the living room (more so when it's attached to someone else's sleeping area AND there are other guests in the same room with you), and close the door to your bedroom. If you're the loud type that can't be helped, but closing the door is an "at least we tried".
They said that they talked to the other roommates about the situation, but when I talked to the others 1 said they weren't told anything and they others only knew that I left but they didn't say anything about any "security issues", and didn't give the impression that they knew I was still allowed in the apartment but that I was leaving soon due to the change in decisions.
I don't like being lied to, but it's probably for the best. No more drama needs to happen in the house than need-be. I was told traffic in the house would deceased due to the security issues, but there are other behind that, if that's even a truth to go on. Not that matters to me, but it came up so it's to be addressed too.
Unfortunately, this is a host with a one sided view of the respect and boundary lines between guests and hosts. I didn't have the talk I usually have with my hosts about understanding that we are equal in the risks we take and getting their views on how general respect is handled. But, with the other things that went on I think I've seen and learned enough from their end. It's disappointing that I didn't get my end out in the open, but that doesn't matter now either. This host doesn't do a good job of getting to know their guests before unloading their ideals on them. It's what happens when the cause(s) take over.
I would like to think a need for slow down was seriously considered instead of being a cover up, but not everything that needs to be slowed down will be.
~
.Hack field titles recurring theme, now. I'm going to see if any keywords fro the real game series will ever apply to a post and use those. A little extra something for the .Hack fans and if you still have the games maybe visit those areas.
I feel it's for the best. I was getting frustrated with the temp service operation and Boston's layout really pisses me off. And, I think I made it clear about how I feel about sexual behavior in my last post. I feel like things like that should be handled more discreetly when their are other people in close proximity. Don't have sex in the living room (more so when it's attached to someone else's sleeping area AND there are other guests in the same room with you), and close the door to your bedroom. If you're the loud type that can't be helped, but closing the door is an "at least we tried".
They said that they talked to the other roommates about the situation, but when I talked to the others 1 said they weren't told anything and they others only knew that I left but they didn't say anything about any "security issues", and didn't give the impression that they knew I was still allowed in the apartment but that I was leaving soon due to the change in decisions.
I don't like being lied to, but it's probably for the best. No more drama needs to happen in the house than need-be. I was told traffic in the house would deceased due to the security issues, but there are other behind that, if that's even a truth to go on. Not that matters to me, but it came up so it's to be addressed too.
Unfortunately, this is a host with a one sided view of the respect and boundary lines between guests and hosts. I didn't have the talk I usually have with my hosts about understanding that we are equal in the risks we take and getting their views on how general respect is handled. But, with the other things that went on I think I've seen and learned enough from their end. It's disappointing that I didn't get my end out in the open, but that doesn't matter now either. This host doesn't do a good job of getting to know their guests before unloading their ideals on them. It's what happens when the cause(s) take over.
I would like to think a need for slow down was seriously considered instead of being a cover up, but not everything that needs to be slowed down will be.
~
.Hack field titles recurring theme, now. I'm going to see if any keywords fro the real game series will ever apply to a post and use those. A little extra something for the .Hack fans and if you still have the games maybe visit those areas.
Wednesday, March 02, 2016
Beta: Disrespectful sexual white boy
As I've started writing this I still haven't gotten a fill nights, sleep, but I will post this AFTER I have. My typing isn't all that great on 3 consecutive nights of very little sleep.
I'll take from the top on how I ended up at the airport: Right now, I'm staying with some people in Boston for I have agreed to help them with a civil rights related cause. It's my usual women's right stuff, but I'm happy to have the opportunity in any case, and I'll be making some money. A white cis het male guest came in and he was ok for about 5 seconds before I started getting negative vibes from him. Some emergency female guests came in, the host and guests went to a party, and sure enough someone came back to the house and had sex.
I sleep on the couch in the living room when there are few or no guests and the large closest when their are many. I originally volunteered the couch to one of the females, but the male hopped in with her. The host said if they have sex put a sheet under them because other people use that couch and it's an open space. I included that I sleep on the couch when no one else is here and only half joked about going back to Providence if they had sex on the couch. I was not ok with laying in anyone's juices, and the couch is really the most comfortable thing to sleep on! Also the sheer disrespect for me as a roommate and the host. If I'm going to be in a chaotic disrespectful environment I can go back to the shelter in Providence. At least, in the shelter they have community connections and housing programs. The punk scene in Providence is good, too.
The next day I talked about it with them long after the females left and he repeated that SHE was the one that was clear on having sex with a sheet between them and the couch. It was like I was the only one that caught his underlined disregard and that she was one to have a strict respect for the rule about the couch.
The next night it was only him as a guest, so I was going to sleep in the living room on the futon and continue giving the couch to guests. The futon isn't great but it's better than sleeping bag on the floor. We had a talk as guests about other couch surfing experiences and HE brought up the subject of female hosts that only host females. I said the reason was for the advertised threat of violence against women, and sometimes it's a situational thing.
He came up the reason of women not wanting to address the sexual tension they might have with their guests. I admitted that was a possibility on a case by case bases, but that's not the main reason. He actually tried to back-and-forth with me on and and even yelled over what I was saying to be the dominate one in the conversation. I usually yell back, but people where going to bed like we were, and I wasn't going to stoop to his level while everyone was cooling down. If it had been a different setting I would have easily proved that it takes a lot to out yell me. He's convinced himself that a female having a weak sense of sexual integrity is the MAIN reason why there are some females that choose to host only other females.
Picking up that the kid is a misogynist I moved myself back into the closest and he asked about it. I didn't answer and said good night. When he first came in the host asked if I was taking the closest and when I said yes the host said his stuff will stay outside the closest RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. In asking about it while I was in there he no respect for my space, and was already planning to take it away from me as if he were entitled to it. If it were humanly possible to punch all of the blood out of someone's body in one blow I would know how and I would have done it the next day outside, because I would never want to mess out the nice living room. But, before I left I questioned him on how much longer he would be in the house. He said the host gave him permission to stay as long as he needed to, as his situation was so unclear. THAT'S why I left the apartment. I packed my stuff that morning and texted the host that I left and I would be willing to return when the kid was gone if they were ok with it.
This child has no regard for boundaries or personal space, and has no respect for anyone. Between those events I had to cutting him off for cutting other people off while speaking so they could finish what they were saying. I even had to tell him to shut up after he kept trying to go back and forth with someone else on a different issue. The host was there and jumped in a changed the subject on that one, though.
And, yet I was the only one to see how poorly mannered and freeloading this kid is. I asked the host and another roommate about him before I left and they said he was ok and they hadn't seen any of his ugliness. Mind you the other people in the apartment are male, with various gender identities, but still very male. Sex happened again (with different people) that next night which is an added annoyance to my lack of sleep, but I wouldn't care if I hadn't heard them. With the kid I was worried that he would intentionally do something gross and I would still end out sleeping in bodily fluid. All that really had me looking forward to Minneapolis. I want to get all this over with and leave all this behind me.
I needed to spend last night at the airport. I got a little more sleep than I had the past 3 nights (the first night of lack of sleep is left out, as it is unrelated to all this. Like I said, the futon isn't that great.) I needed to vent online and get a few more zzz's than I had been getting, though the airport wasn't that comfortable. Once in a comfortable position, I could ignore most of the noises. No one was having sex near me was what I cared most about at that point.
Happy Leap Day to me, huh?
~
Looking at this after I've had sleep there is only one part I took out. The rest of it's staying, but that I took out has to do with a change I'll be making on my CS profile, so it will be seen in it's own way, anyway.
The joke with the title is .Hack related. If you know what .Hack is high five your screen! You get the joke! If you don't know what .Hack is, I recommend a look see.
I'll take from the top on how I ended up at the airport: Right now, I'm staying with some people in Boston for I have agreed to help them with a civil rights related cause. It's my usual women's right stuff, but I'm happy to have the opportunity in any case, and I'll be making some money. A white cis het male guest came in and he was ok for about 5 seconds before I started getting negative vibes from him. Some emergency female guests came in, the host and guests went to a party, and sure enough someone came back to the house and had sex.
I sleep on the couch in the living room when there are few or no guests and the large closest when their are many. I originally volunteered the couch to one of the females, but the male hopped in with her. The host said if they have sex put a sheet under them because other people use that couch and it's an open space. I included that I sleep on the couch when no one else is here and only half joked about going back to Providence if they had sex on the couch. I was not ok with laying in anyone's juices, and the couch is really the most comfortable thing to sleep on! Also the sheer disrespect for me as a roommate and the host. If I'm going to be in a chaotic disrespectful environment I can go back to the shelter in Providence. At least, in the shelter they have community connections and housing programs. The punk scene in Providence is good, too.
The next day I talked about it with them long after the females left and he repeated that SHE was the one that was clear on having sex with a sheet between them and the couch. It was like I was the only one that caught his underlined disregard and that she was one to have a strict respect for the rule about the couch.
The next night it was only him as a guest, so I was going to sleep in the living room on the futon and continue giving the couch to guests. The futon isn't great but it's better than sleeping bag on the floor. We had a talk as guests about other couch surfing experiences and HE brought up the subject of female hosts that only host females. I said the reason was for the advertised threat of violence against women, and sometimes it's a situational thing.
He came up the reason of women not wanting to address the sexual tension they might have with their guests. I admitted that was a possibility on a case by case bases, but that's not the main reason. He actually tried to back-and-forth with me on and and even yelled over what I was saying to be the dominate one in the conversation. I usually yell back, but people where going to bed like we were, and I wasn't going to stoop to his level while everyone was cooling down. If it had been a different setting I would have easily proved that it takes a lot to out yell me. He's convinced himself that a female having a weak sense of sexual integrity is the MAIN reason why there are some females that choose to host only other females.
Picking up that the kid is a misogynist I moved myself back into the closest and he asked about it. I didn't answer and said good night. When he first came in the host asked if I was taking the closest and when I said yes the host said his stuff will stay outside the closest RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. In asking about it while I was in there he no respect for my space, and was already planning to take it away from me as if he were entitled to it. If it were humanly possible to punch all of the blood out of someone's body in one blow I would know how and I would have done it the next day outside, because I would never want to mess out the nice living room. But, before I left I questioned him on how much longer he would be in the house. He said the host gave him permission to stay as long as he needed to, as his situation was so unclear. THAT'S why I left the apartment. I packed my stuff that morning and texted the host that I left and I would be willing to return when the kid was gone if they were ok with it.
This child has no regard for boundaries or personal space, and has no respect for anyone. Between those events I had to cutting him off for cutting other people off while speaking so they could finish what they were saying. I even had to tell him to shut up after he kept trying to go back and forth with someone else on a different issue. The host was there and jumped in a changed the subject on that one, though.
And, yet I was the only one to see how poorly mannered and freeloading this kid is. I asked the host and another roommate about him before I left and they said he was ok and they hadn't seen any of his ugliness. Mind you the other people in the apartment are male, with various gender identities, but still very male. Sex happened again (with different people) that next night which is an added annoyance to my lack of sleep, but I wouldn't care if I hadn't heard them. With the kid I was worried that he would intentionally do something gross and I would still end out sleeping in bodily fluid. All that really had me looking forward to Minneapolis. I want to get all this over with and leave all this behind me.
I needed to spend last night at the airport. I got a little more sleep than I had the past 3 nights (the first night of lack of sleep is left out, as it is unrelated to all this. Like I said, the futon isn't that great.) I needed to vent online and get a few more zzz's than I had been getting, though the airport wasn't that comfortable. Once in a comfortable position, I could ignore most of the noises. No one was having sex near me was what I cared most about at that point.
Happy Leap Day to me, huh?
~
Looking at this after I've had sleep there is only one part I took out. The rest of it's staying, but that I took out has to do with a change I'll be making on my CS profile, so it will be seen in it's own way, anyway.
The joke with the title is .Hack related. If you know what .Hack is high five your screen! You get the joke! If you don't know what .Hack is, I recommend a look see.
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