I don't have the mental health for men

Last night, I made a comment among those waves. I felt like I was talking more about relationships in general, and I didn't say anything about men in that context. But we did spend some of the night bashing man in different contexts. When I finally got home, being is exhausted from work is my coworkers, I had a very related dream.

I remember the dream with a lot of its details intact, but the details that are important are the ones where I got into a relationship with a YouTuber and felt him up but then felt bad about it. He even asked me if I was okay, and I said no. it's like I feel bad for having an attractive boyfriend, because I didn't know what to do with myself or him. And we were at some kind of event or something. Aside from a scene about living at work and workers rights, the went back out to the event. By the way, that part of the dream was celebrity casted.

and then one of my crushes from elementary and middle school came up with his best friend. I even remembered both of their names! And the guy that actually had a crush on was super hot! Buy video game standards, pun intended.it was weird. He had the same face, but his body was totally different. He was all unrealistically buff. And his friend looked normal. We had a short interaction, and we didn't touch each other.

Ever since that last abuser from some years ago, I haven't had any realistic notions of trying to date men again. I understand why the YouTuber came in, because it's very inconsequential to be in a crush type of relationship with someone behind a screen, where you get to know everything about them but they don't even know you exist. But pulling up my crush from Elementary and middle School was very out there! but that is an implication of the dreams realistic value, for sure. And maybe his friend being there had something to do with it. All I remember is how tight they were, even though I didn't really like the other dude because he had a much more stank attitude. But if he wasn't meant to be a part of the message, he wouldn't have been there. Maybe he would have, I don't know. Maybe they're together now, and him also being in my dream is a representation of their soul linking Bond.

I don't feel like I have a lot to think about when it comes to men though. There were no women or others and that related part of my dreams. I do have a social anxiety about men, because they're more likely to commit violence. And the heteropatriarchy dictates that violence is acceptable. I don't want the responsibility of dating a man. Fortunately, I have many more options to choose from, so I don't have to worry about any of that! If I ever even want to try dating, again, that is! The game is played out, and I've already accepted my fate. I'm not worried about it. It's just very interesting in telling. It answered a lot more questions than it asked.

Active town, commuter train

For a few weeks I was having a recurring dream of being in a seemingly small but very lively town. The town had a lot of glowing aspects but one thing that was very out of the ordinary was it had a commuter train that only came at night after most things closed that took first generation East Asian immigrants out to what could be realistically interpreted as suburb. It seemed like it take hours to get there because the sun would be up at the location and that they were going to. I wasn't able to make it to the train in every dream, but if I did make it the dream would stop before we got to the stop where the people are going. from what I could tell out the window, it was a place that was offset from water, like an island and it was either a town or a city but it was a place where only they lived and they came into the town where my dream initially would take place to work, I assume. it looks like a beautiful place to be, but I was never able to get off the train to see it. At least not that I remember.

Dizzy/ Happy Pride Month!

With the changes that have been coming this new place, there are many things that are a lot of feelings going on within me. A lot of disappointment and outrage with the behavior of people around me.

Today, I feel so dizzy which is making me tired and drained. I don't understand what's wrong. Recently, I had a dream. I'm happy because it was my first Undertale dream, and it was weird and disappointing because it had a very popular pairing that I dislike in it. That's really strange in itself. That's the first fandom dream I've had that's featured a pairing I dislike in it.

I was recently advised that my Root Chakra is too low, and since I've started listening to beats for that I've been... * falls asleep*

~

June is LGBTQ Pride month for the USA! Happy Pride Month, everyone!