so, a few weeks ago I offered to help a friend with a relationship situation. The people that are involved in my housemates, and I would rather be friends with people that I live with. Fully, but still offering to help where I can.
A few days ago, the person asked me to see if I can find any unbiased individuals to help their relationship mend in the communication area. I go out and try to find at least in my professional people that know how to facilitate space for them to get themselves right in.
the other one, who I've never talked to you about this goes out and do whatever process comes across someone that I know that as far as I know doesn't have experience in facilitating communication space. I'm saying as far as I know, because I talk to this person on various occasions but we never talked about anything like that. And I have my own set of assumptions that comes from my frustrated mind, but I really don't know if this person has experience in that area or not.
they tell me that they picked this person after I found someone who has already decided to accept them who has experience in holding mental and emotional space, with a small fee. the statment was presented to me by the person who has asked for my assistance that all parties have definitively agreed on the situation. The person that they picked to help the has asked me to meet with them to talk about my relationship with them and how I feel being around them, and is sitting on "maybe" with deciding to help them.
But, between the time that they told me about the person, and the person contacting me, I told them that I would no longer be involved in their mental and emotional situations. I went out of my way to try to find good quality resources, and they don't care. the person I found accepted them, and they rejected them for somebody who might not even get involved. I don't know if they have a back-up plan. I don't know what led this to this decision. All I know is I'm pissed off that I wasted my time and energy trying to help them when I feel like I put forth my best efforts and gathering resources.
I plan on continuing to contribute to the household as a community member, and of course I will use direct and blunt communication whenever issues arise. But their mental and emotional stuff is what I'm done with.
for as hellish and chaotic as my last house was, I'm now glad that I went through it. I'm setting much stricter boundaries much quicker, and I know I'm better off that way.
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