talking to supportive people

hard to believe I didn't make a blog entry about this, but few weeks ago I talk to my spirit mom. Someone has been very supportive of all of my foolish antics! We mostly talked about politics, because I didn't have much life updates oh, but they was something uplifting about talking to her, just as a like-minded positive force. 

talking to her really brought about a breath of fresh air that I didn't even know it's hidden. I suddenly abandoned the self-imposed stress that I was putting on myself of how I feel like I should stay in Minneapolis through some Universal responsibility. I have ultimately decided to stop racking my brain, and stay here until after the election next year, but I feel much less forced about it. much less stressed out about my decision, because at first I felt like I was stuck. But now I know that I consensually want to be here for a list of other reasons. I was put on this planet, in this life to party, and anything that gets in the way of my party is in the way of My overall livelihood! So I'm going to continue to be adventurous and party hard. I don't owe anyone anything, especially not my time or health. Somehow talking to her about politics with suddenly better than talking to my therapist. Not that I'm going to stop seeing my therapist, but I just felt so much better hearing her voice. I really can't explain it with words. It was all something I felt!

when I talked to her some weeks ago, the job trainings that I just posted about we're nowhere on my radar. I'm hoping that in a few more weeks I'll have more exciting things to talk about that are actually going on in my life instead of the distraction of politics. with or without a job, the job training will be very useful. And having more skills might do more to change my perspective.

Speaking of prospective, I'm very thankful to have a roof over my head and live with people that don't fight or starting drama with me. But there's a lot of drama that goes on between them that rubs off and how they communicate with me. And they also have their own mental health issues that affect their communication. things are difficult here, some of it due to mental health, and some of it due to very obvious choices. Recently there was a housemate that was using a broken can opener and leaving the cans have cut with the cut part of which is the very obvious sharp objects safety hazard. And of course they were leaving me the objects in a shared refrigerator. 

The first time they did it, I cut myself on it because I didn't think to try to use a knife to pry it open. The second time they did it I knew that they were too comfortable with the safety hazard so I had to send them an email asking them to stop. But Me being the adult that I am is very frustrated that any other adult would think that's acceptable, in the first place. there's common sense, and then there's identifying potentially dangerous situations. We should all know that sharp objects and rigid edges produce potentially dangerous situations. No matter what your background is; no matter what culture you grew up in. There is nowhere in this world that I know of where sharp objects don't  mean (potential) danger. 

I read my Tarot on being able to move out different housemates, and the cards that are saying that I'm stuck where I am. The part of me wants to see if I can live alone again. If I really wanted to, I would make it work. But I don't, because when I'm alone every little noise freaks me out. I love being able to walk around the house naked, but is it worth the anxiety attack I have every 5 seconds from every random Creek and snap?

I can function better with the idea of this is where I'm supposed to be. I know how to handle them for now. even though it's frustrating that I have to address things that I feel it basic, it's better to address them than to let them sit and rot on my mind and emotions. and I'm hoping that these new skills from the trainings will open up my opportunities in the to where I don't have to worry about getting a job when I decide to move to a new area. I'm still looking at Madison Wisconsin. being the traveling forklift driver sounds way cooler than being a traveling dishwasher, for me!

I trust that they're better housemates out me out there for me in different states. It's up to me to get out of Minnesota and find them! and if I can find a place that's as open-minded as Minneapolis, with little to no passive aggressiveness and less brutal Winters and Summers that's even better! an actual affordable housing, and communities that are active in fighting against gentrification!