Two Amazon Workers Died After Being Denied Sick Leave At Bessemer, AL Wa...

Moving over!

Shit hit the fan on YouTube with a round of algorithm(?) based hard-perma-bans, so I'm moving everything I can to a new google email and making this email YouTude Only. With the expectation of some apps.

The new blog is: https://emoyoujo.blogspot.com/

i hate these people. i really do.

As of now, looking forward to leaving Minnesota.

decompressing about yesterday

I'm having some retrospective feelings about the person who accosted me yesterday. it would really be best if that person just hadn't done that. That's really extreme, even for an extreme personality like myself. I don't see how it makes sense for the store to have the security footage but then for me to go back 2 address someone to take their statement as a confession. They don't need a confession common or do they need to know your name or who you are. They just need your face so they can ban you. And after four years of sitting on that Grudge, this person never came across that idea. and even though I didn't like the person anymore, I went out of my way to tell them that they got banned instead of them possibly trying to come back to repeat the offense and then getting approached for returning. That's how they do it where I used to work. And if a person comes back, they could call the police. I was trying to save this person to seem, but I'm probably never going to do that again. and thinking about it, I probably should have done in the first place seeing as how I already decided that I didn't want anything to do with this person that after I felt like they ghosted me. Go to show I should give my loyalty to people who actually deserve it. that was some serious fucking mental illness to approach someone in that setting over 4 year old Grudge that doesn't make any goddamn sense, when basic logic is applied.

I'm not saying I'm never going back to the soup kitchen, but I'm obviously not going back anytime soon. I'm not planning on being in this state another 4 years, so never going back is within the realm of possibilities, but not set in stone. But the way they handled that was bullshit. That is a setting where it could have easily been someone having a mental health issue that I genuinely didn't know and I could have actually been in danger. I feel like if I had been in a place of business they would have told the person to leave. It sucks that I have to pay to be able to sit peacefully in public, compared to a space that set up for people to be there for free.

I've experienced this before. Always depends on the person who handles it. Sometimes she gets done and sometimes it doesn't, but usually in a place where people are paying for something, issues get handled a lot more assertively and escalated to aggressively if they need to. in places like soup kitchens in libraries, they just let things be. Don't even have people in there, like in this situation, but don't even know how to handle conflict. I don't see why anybody would be okay with having staff and volunteers at don't know how to handle conflict in the setting that involves dealing with the public. Especially, specific groups of people.

/Decompression

4 year Grudge

On Halloween, the spookiest day, something scary happened!

4 years ago, I briefly met someone that I was interested in being friends with and I started talking to them. Shortly after we talked, that one time, they left town without telling me, and I felt ghosted. 

I was very upset about that, and then later was pulled into a meeting at work that updated us on people that were recently banned from the store. That person was in there, for shoplifting. I sent them a very upset Facebook message about it how I felt about being ghosted and told them to not bother to come back to the store because they were banned for shoplifting.

They sent me a message on a different Facebook account and I didn't read it and blocked both the Facebook accounts.

Today, the person came into the soup kitchen and aggressive reset down next to me and talk to me for 10 minutes about how food and health are important. I told them that I don't know who they are and I don't know what they want, and they got increasingly aggressive. It's been years since I've seen this person, so I really didn't remember them.

There's no security there, so I told one of the volunteers what was going on, and they absolutely deflated under Pressure. They had no conflict resolution skills, and no confidence. After I told the volunteer, the person finally told me who they are and what the problem was.

The problem was that they thought the store had the security questionable footage, and I confronted them only with a guess that it was them, and then took their following reply back to them to confirm that it was them which resulted in them getting banned. What actually happened was those are expensive security cameras that can get you in both black and white and color. With the quality of those cameras, I could see that person's face very clearly. And there's no logical reason for me to tell someone that they are banned if I'm not absolutely sure it's them, anyway.

the person also believe that they would have been confronted right then, but that's not how that works at every place. And stores like Target and Walmart where it's someone's job to watch the security cameras, that would be the case. But our place is one of many local businesses that does not have any designated security/ loss prevention staff, so the person who watches the cameras also has a lot of other duties and can't actually watch the cameras in real time. They will review footage later to see if anything happened, but the chances you'll get caught on the spot is unlikely. If you happen to be pilfering when the mod or store assistant manager is sitting at the camera computer, you drew the unlucky straw. but I told the person not to come back, not out of anger, but if they had returned they would have been confronted.

I don't know if my loyalty has a price, but the place was paying me $10 and something cents an hour, and I know my price is higher than that! And it would take a lot for me to report someone especially for shoplifting, because life is hard. if there's a company out there that will pay me enough money and treat me with enough respect to care when somebody shoplifts from them, I would like to work there. NO GONNA HAPPEN! THAT PLACE DOES NOT EXIST!

We clear up the misunderstanding, and chatted for a while. But I won't be going back to the soup kitchen, because I no longer feel safe there. What if it wasn't an issue that could have been reasonably resolved? If I had been in actually danger, none of the volunteers would have have the tools to properly handle the situation. It is relieving that I found out that the space is unsafe in a tame situation, rather than something terrible actually happen and gettimg hurt. this isn't the ideal time of year to have to find a new place to hang out, but free food isn't worth my safety.

What was the scary thing that happened? A CAPITALIST BOOTLICKER DYSTOPIAN VERSION OF ME HAS BEEN PRESENTED TO THE UNIVERSE!

closing the mental and emotional drain

Unlike most subjects, I've talked about this one a lot since it happened, and I've gotten feedback, and it has been another development. This all happened in rapid succession.

so, a few weeks ago I offered to help a friend with a relationship situation. The people that are involved in my housemates, and I would rather be friends with people that I live with. Fully, but still offering to help where I can.

A few days ago, the person asked me to see if I can find any unbiased individuals to help their relationship mend in the communication area. I go out and try to find at least in my professional people that know how to facilitate space for them to get themselves right in.

the other one, who I've never talked to you about this goes out and do whatever process comes across someone that I know that as far as I know doesn't have experience in facilitating communication space. I'm saying as far as I know, because I talk to this person on various occasions but we never talked about anything like that. And I have my own set of assumptions that comes from my frustrated mind, but I really don't know if this person has experience in that area or not.

they tell me that they picked this person after I found someone who has already decided to accept them who has experience in holding mental and emotional space, with a small fee. the statment was presented to me by the person who has asked for my assistance that all parties have definitively agreed on the situation. The person that they picked to help the has asked me to meet with them to talk about my relationship with them and how I feel being around them, and is sitting on "maybe" with deciding to help them.

But, between the time that they told me about the person, and the person contacting me, I told them that I would no longer be involved in their mental and emotional situations. I went out of my way to try to find good quality resources, and they don't care. the person I found accepted them, and they rejected them for somebody who might not even get involved. I don't know if they have a back-up plan. I don't know what led this to this decision. All I know is I'm pissed off that I wasted my time and energy trying to help them when I feel like I put forth my best efforts and gathering resources.

I plan on continuing to contribute to the household as a community member, and of course I will use direct and blunt communication whenever issues arise. But their mental and emotional stuff is what I'm done with.

for as hellish and chaotic as my last house was, I'm now glad that I went through it. I'm setting much stricter boundaries much quicker, and I know I'm better off that way.

trying to get to general Assembly next year! // other travel plans!

I've already put in ten times more effort than previous years to try to get out to the Unitarian universalist association general Assembly! Next year it will be in Providence Rhode island, and I love Providence Rhode island! biggest my biggest issue in Providence Rhode island is that it's a small population and not a whole lot to do. My other biggest issue is that it's one of those small places that spread out making it hard to access. They could definitely stand a condensed Providence Rhode island, because there's not a whole lot there. And condensing it would make it more accessible. And will probably give it more stuff to do.

but if ever in my life I really wanted to hardcore settle down and have some serious peace and quiet, I know where to go. like, I'm in my fifties, I have adopted teenagers, ready to raise my kids. And then whenever I feel spunky, I can go hit up a rave at a warehouse squat. And I can do it anytime without any expectations. If I'm really bored is not hard to get to other places with more population and more events.

Back to the more near future! It would take a lot to get me to pass up going to Providence Rhode island again. I don't know if I qualify for any youth grants, outside of my age and being a person of color in lgbtq I'm not in any leadership roles at a congregation I'm not even a member of any congregations. If I don't qualify for any grants, I'm going to sign up as a volunteer and just hope and pray that I have the money to cover my travel and other expenses to get me too, enjoy my time while I'm out there, and get me from.

The following year is Milwaukee Wisconsin. I'm not going to go out of my way to get to Milwaukee, but if I move to Madison by that time, it's not inconveniencing me to go.

The following year is Portland Oregon. That's big maybe. But if I make the track all the way out to Portland I'm going to want to be out there for at least two weeks. But I'm not all that inspired to go out to the West coast anymore. And even and looking at it from a distance, Portland is overrated.

AND 2023 IS THE IRREFUTABLE, UNDENIABLE, UNMATCHABLE, REMARKABLE PITTSBURGH PENNSYLVANIA! Somebody would have to do a lot to keep me out of Pittsburgh Pennsylvania! Hopefully by then, I'll live there or I'll live somewhere close by. I highly doubt I'll still be here. But wherever I am I'm going to make all my efforts to get out to Pittsburgh Pennsylvania!

I'm not trying to be in Minneapolis Minnesota in 2023. Something tells me that this place isn't going to change. At least not for the better. It's definitely going to change for the worse in terms of gentrification. the good thing about Minneapolis is that it's not hard to get out of there. I can go to Omaha, Lincoln, Madison, Chicago, and a long list of other places if I'm going to go any further south. But really, I'm looking at Omaha a lot because I haven't been there yet. I just need a reason to go down there for a community that I connect with, and Branch off on my own from that connection. 

Iowa isn't totally out of the question, but it sounds like every place in Iowa would be too small for me. But I'm totally not opposed to visit. It's always better to see for myself. Iowa City, Boise, and Des Moines.

as long as I know I want to go I have a better chance of being able to get there!