Biological calls

today, my biological mother contacted me while I was out and about. Instead of sending a text message she sent a voicemail. It did a lot of shocking things to me to hear out old she was in her voice. She didn't even sound like herself, as it had been a long time since I've heard her voice and that accent. the person that gave birth to me and that I still lived with for the most part of 22 years sounded like a stranger.

And she is a stranger. After 5 years of all of my trials and tribulations, my successes and triumphs, I did not know her or any of my family after that. Leaving home was a huge Landmark, but I stop talking to them after Colorado - for full disclosure. I may as well have lunch myself out into space, for everything that I knew and became accustomed to that I left behind in Shreveport. But I made the triumphant decisions that have led me to be who I am today. Everything happened as it should, for the best influences for me to excel at my personal and interpersonal goals, and I know as long as I'm still alive I still have much to learn! And it will be without my blood relatives.

I keep thinking about it through her perspective. What is it like to have your child tell you that you are not longer wanted in their life? but I can't wonder too much, because the parents need to figure out that they have earned the punishment that they are receiving. I have no idea what the social standards are on this subject matter, but disowning someone is not an easy task. When you realize it's a thing that has to happen it's very emotionally and mentally taxing. Part of being an adult is facing your consequences, right? but today I found out that in America, being an adult means making your own boundaries and holding yourself to them. That's what being an adult is for me, and I feel like it's different for everyone. But I'm glad I figured it out before I  turned 30, even though that's not  far away.

and something that I'm very proud of is that I'm not crying about it. Whatever tears I've had about this have already been excreted. I've cried as much as I possibly can about all the has happened with my biological family. I will not ask them for another thing, and they will not get any more of my Tears. Contrary to popular belief, I don't owe them anything. Not even my life. I didn't choose to be here, nor did they choose this for me. It all just happened. Through very poor judgment, mind you, but it happened. I don't owe them what I didn't ask for. I don't owe them what I did ask for. I owe toxic, abusive people nothing.