Thursday, August 31, 2017
Friday, August 04, 2017
Thursday, July 06, 2017
Saturday, July 01, 2017
A letter to my teenage self
A letter to my teenage self
Howdy,
How are you feeling? Really focus on that, because how you're feeling is important. It always has been, and it always will be. How you feel goes past a lot of how you think and what you believe, so it's very important.
Your feelings are going to lead you to very different places and to very different people, so continue to trust them. When you feel like you should go, go. When you feel like you should stop, stop. If someone is being hurtful towards you leave them be. It's easier with people outside, than people in family, but that doesn't mean you're stuck with them either. Nothing is permenat, and this isn't you for the rest of your life.
It's better to focus on being yourself than to consign to being "normal" or "different". Those things really don't matter, because everyone has their own different meaning for what those things mean.
There are millions of billions of people on the plante. You're not normal or different, and you're not alone. It just feels like it because, right now, access to all those people is so limited.
Even in depress you will seek being social so you and others won't feel alone and that's ok. Whatever you do to be ok is ok.
You're going to talk to a lot of people and read a lot about people. Somehow, there will still be a sence of "normal" and "different". That's because now you have your own bubble, and you are aware that's it's there. The bubble is now still what you have learned from the people around you, but as you learn other things it will become your own. It's only as big or small as you make it. Whatever is in it is what you put in it.
Being yourself is going to hurt because you're going to be labeled "different", but keep being yourself. You're going to learn from what's happened and it will make you a better person. You will get the help you need to cope with everything in later days. Of coruse, not as soon as you want, but if you don't give up you'll get what you need.
You're going through a lot more than anyone should have to go through just to leave, but you have to go through it now because they're more to come. What you're going through now is somewhat safe, even though it doesn't feel like it. What's happening is in a much more controlled eneviornment, but things do change when you become an adult.
You don't have to die if you don't want to. You can continue to live, if you choose.
Where you are now is where you need to be, because it effects where you will go. It doesn't totally determinate it, but it effects it. Only you make to deicisions. If you choose to live, you choose to accept the changes that you'll go through. And, things will change very dramatically in all sorts of directions. It may not seem like it's worth it, and I know there's nothing I can do to convience you, but I can tell you that it's very worth it.
People are going to tell you that the world is a harash place, but the world that they are in and the world you are in are different worlds. Their world is a harash place because they made it that way for themselves. That doesn't have to be your world, if you don't want it to be. And, you don't so it won't.
You'll always have friends, and people that will be there for you. They won't always be the people that you think they will be or you think they should be. They'll help you in a lot of different ways. They will help you continue to live, if you let them.
You must learn the consequses of only being half commited to honesty. You will go through your own version of hell, but it will be still in a controlled enviornment. You won't feel that safe, but you're in the best position to learn that lesson before adulthood. It will make you very scared, but you would be scare forever, because you're too awesome to be stopped!
Everything will be what it needs to be for you at the time, and then you will move on from it and things will change. You'll change, but only if you choose to live.
Brush your teeth more, and keep Iodine in your diet. Those are also very important!
Don't focus on being different or normal. Just be yourself, no matter how much it hurts. Because, really, their's no one else left to be. Everyone else is taken.
(I intentionally didn't fix the typos.)
Howdy,
How are you feeling? Really focus on that, because how you're feeling is important. It always has been, and it always will be. How you feel goes past a lot of how you think and what you believe, so it's very important.
Your feelings are going to lead you to very different places and to very different people, so continue to trust them. When you feel like you should go, go. When you feel like you should stop, stop. If someone is being hurtful towards you leave them be. It's easier with people outside, than people in family, but that doesn't mean you're stuck with them either. Nothing is permenat, and this isn't you for the rest of your life.
It's better to focus on being yourself than to consign to being "normal" or "different". Those things really don't matter, because everyone has their own different meaning for what those things mean.
There are millions of billions of people on the plante. You're not normal or different, and you're not alone. It just feels like it because, right now, access to all those people is so limited.
Even in depress you will seek being social so you and others won't feel alone and that's ok. Whatever you do to be ok is ok.
You're going to talk to a lot of people and read a lot about people. Somehow, there will still be a sence of "normal" and "different". That's because now you have your own bubble, and you are aware that's it's there. The bubble is now still what you have learned from the people around you, but as you learn other things it will become your own. It's only as big or small as you make it. Whatever is in it is what you put in it.
Being yourself is going to hurt because you're going to be labeled "different", but keep being yourself. You're going to learn from what's happened and it will make you a better person. You will get the help you need to cope with everything in later days. Of coruse, not as soon as you want, but if you don't give up you'll get what you need.
You're going through a lot more than anyone should have to go through just to leave, but you have to go through it now because they're more to come. What you're going through now is somewhat safe, even though it doesn't feel like it. What's happening is in a much more controlled eneviornment, but things do change when you become an adult.
You don't have to die if you don't want to. You can continue to live, if you choose.
Where you are now is where you need to be, because it effects where you will go. It doesn't totally determinate it, but it effects it. Only you make to deicisions. If you choose to live, you choose to accept the changes that you'll go through. And, things will change very dramatically in all sorts of directions. It may not seem like it's worth it, and I know there's nothing I can do to convience you, but I can tell you that it's very worth it.
People are going to tell you that the world is a harash place, but the world that they are in and the world you are in are different worlds. Their world is a harash place because they made it that way for themselves. That doesn't have to be your world, if you don't want it to be. And, you don't so it won't.
You'll always have friends, and people that will be there for you. They won't always be the people that you think they will be or you think they should be. They'll help you in a lot of different ways. They will help you continue to live, if you let them.
You must learn the consequses of only being half commited to honesty. You will go through your own version of hell, but it will be still in a controlled enviornment. You won't feel that safe, but you're in the best position to learn that lesson before adulthood. It will make you very scared, but you would be scare forever, because you're too awesome to be stopped!
Everything will be what it needs to be for you at the time, and then you will move on from it and things will change. You'll change, but only if you choose to live.
Brush your teeth more, and keep Iodine in your diet. Those are also very important!
Don't focus on being different or normal. Just be yourself, no matter how much it hurts. Because, really, their's no one else left to be. Everyone else is taken.
(I intentionally didn't fix the typos.)
Friday, June 30, 2017
A letter to my childhood self A retrospective
A letter to my childhood self
A retrospective
Hey you,
How are you feeling? I know you've seen some hard times, but you excel in appreciating the good times. You're the best at see the good in people and the better possibilities.
You have more hope and thoughtfulness than most of the people around you. I can tell you why people do the things that they do. It's because they use to know better, but they don't anymore. A lot of people use to be like you but they grew out of it.
They grew out of seeing the best in anything, including themselves. As life goes on people go through different things and everyone develops a different meaning of survival. They also develop a different reality from the bubble that was formed around them than they were little to the bubble that they make for themselves as they go through life with less control from their families or whomever cared for them.
It really doesn't matter how you're doing in school in the long run. The school system we use is over 150 years old, and it's the only format that we still use that is that old. Don't worry about conforming to an outdated system. You'll do just fine in life the way you are.
People are going to try to take away your hope and determination, but you can't let them. Always do what you feel is right. Don't standing up for others, and being yourself. Even when being yourself is hard and you wish you could be someone else, continue to be yourself. I can assure you that it's worth it.
And, don't worry about going on to "great things" because what that means for you is different from what that means to other people. Your "great thing" is already within you. Don't be ashamed of it or hide it.
Others have limited their own "great thing" but don't limit yours. People will try to put limits on you, but you will break them. You will not be stopped. The only person allowed to limit you is yourself.
The pick on you because they think it will make you tough. They pick on you because they don't understand sadness. You think they understand because they cry, but they don't understand your sadness.
There's a big bright world out there were people mistreat other, and sometimes they will mistreat you. You may also mistreat others, for whatever reason. Forgive others and forgive yourself. Don't forget. Learn from others and yourself. Don't let it happen again as if you didn't learn from it.
I know you don't have any good examples of what "forgiveness" is, but you'll meet more people and get better examples later.
Enjoy yourself.
A retrospective
Hey you,
How are you feeling? I know you've seen some hard times, but you excel in appreciating the good times. You're the best at see the good in people and the better possibilities.
You have more hope and thoughtfulness than most of the people around you. I can tell you why people do the things that they do. It's because they use to know better, but they don't anymore. A lot of people use to be like you but they grew out of it.
They grew out of seeing the best in anything, including themselves. As life goes on people go through different things and everyone develops a different meaning of survival. They also develop a different reality from the bubble that was formed around them than they were little to the bubble that they make for themselves as they go through life with less control from their families or whomever cared for them.
It really doesn't matter how you're doing in school in the long run. The school system we use is over 150 years old, and it's the only format that we still use that is that old. Don't worry about conforming to an outdated system. You'll do just fine in life the way you are.
People are going to try to take away your hope and determination, but you can't let them. Always do what you feel is right. Don't standing up for others, and being yourself. Even when being yourself is hard and you wish you could be someone else, continue to be yourself. I can assure you that it's worth it.
And, don't worry about going on to "great things" because what that means for you is different from what that means to other people. Your "great thing" is already within you. Don't be ashamed of it or hide it.
Others have limited their own "great thing" but don't limit yours. People will try to put limits on you, but you will break them. You will not be stopped. The only person allowed to limit you is yourself.
The pick on you because they think it will make you tough. They pick on you because they don't understand sadness. You think they understand because they cry, but they don't understand your sadness.
There's a big bright world out there were people mistreat other, and sometimes they will mistreat you. You may also mistreat others, for whatever reason. Forgive others and forgive yourself. Don't forget. Learn from others and yourself. Don't let it happen again as if you didn't learn from it.
I know you don't have any good examples of what "forgiveness" is, but you'll meet more people and get better examples later.
Enjoy yourself.
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Suicide
Last night I found out that my ex-roommate, Kelsey, committed suicide a few days ago. Kelsey herself was a person that was very lost and tragic. She had a lot of issues that she refused to go get help for it and had every reason Under the Sun for what she did except for anyways to resolve them. As the person, she was terrible and very difficult to live with. She also did other things that were instances of betrayal against others outside of the house, so I don't really pity her. But as another human being it is very tragic that someone would be at such a loss that suicide would be there only considerable option. I believe that as long as one is alive they always have another chance, but to commit suicide is when someone believes that they don't have any more chances no matter how much life they have left to live. Suicide is not cowardice, it is tragic. Based on my own beliefs, I hope what she finds whatever she was looking for somewhere else.
My condolences to her friends, family, and most recent housemates.
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