"Don't nobody wanna know no gay people."

I don't remember the exact conversation that brought this about, but it's something that my biological mother said that really stuck with me. It was one of the early moments that I knew would bring me to the point of where I am now with disowning her.

And I thought it was really hypocritical of her to say with two of her "best friends" being gay. And two of her most successful friends by what I can measure. But, nobody wants to know gay people. I was legitimately hurt by that, for reasons that I didn't understand why the child.

She also tricked herself into believing that I thought that same-sex couples were absolved from being toxic and abusive. I asked her why she thought I thought that, and she couldn't even answer. She something like "avoiding men doesn't mean avoiding abuse." I'm thinking that this is back when I had a girlfriend. I had to shut her down really hard, because she was the one saying that stuff, and trying to make it seem like I said it or believed it. Even though I don't remember exactly what was said, I actually remember exactly what brought on this conversation. She found out that one of her co-workers wife was abusive. The co-worker's wife was a police officer, so I immediately went into fuck the police mode and told my mother that of course she was abusive because she was a fucking pig. Of course, my mother was taken aback by that, first. But, then I had to Point blank tell her that her accusation is fabricated from a self infliction of deep ignorance and homophobia. Of course, I didn't say it that eloquently but that's the long story short of what I said. And I told her that the conversation was over because it was pointless. And, that was the end of that.

I have to say, I gained a lot of skills from learning how to put my foot down with people that society says I'm supposed to be able to trust, first. And back then, I really wanted to believe that lie. But, blanket statements don't work like that. It's easy to reject strangers, people I know, in friends when I have rejected my entire flesh and blood. Flesh and blood meaning absolutely nothing in the long or short run. Except for my medical history - speaking logically.

Don't nobody wanna know no abusers.

Don't nobody wanna know no homophobes.

And, now I don't know you. Guess you got whatcha wanted.

Toxic cesspool couple

I'm surprised I didn't write about this event sooner. It's a major turning point in the household, and deserves to be recorded. A lot of my feelings about it have faded, since I'm not going to stay mad and I would rather enter into the healing process. But these events definitely need to be recorded for the sake of being able to look back on them and have a frame of reference for events.

A few days ago, the oldest housemate and I were talking about a space downstairs that he wanted to use as a lobby area. He did admit that he wanted to set up like that but no one has ever used it. We were talking about a little bit, and I was leaning more towards not making into a lobby area, but then his girlfriend jumps in and starts yelling. When I inquired on my she was suddenly acting like that, she went off on a tangent about how she didn't want people to hear her in her "private moments" with him and I was offended by that. I really take it is maybe she thinks we're perverted and would want to hear them having sex, or we're too stupid to realize that something private is going on and move ourselves. No matter what she was really thinking, that's how I take it. And I was also very offended and felt disrespected that she just jumped into our conversation started yelling and imposing her trauma into our space.

She left and came back, acting like it was over, but me being the antagonist and I am reinitiated the situation and upset her even more. When we split up and I talked to her boyfriend separately, he advised that I don't need to bring the subject up anymore. And I told him that she's projecting that she thinks low of us, and she's really being an inappropriate upper-class Pig. She was also being very rude and interrupting us and yelling. She was seriously acting like a child, even though she's in her late 60s.

After that, I made it clear that I didn't want to talk to her because of her behavior and her boyfriend didn't like that and kept trying to go back and forth with me. That honestly just made me more angry because I felt like my space was being disrespected, after I made it clear that I was not interested in talking to her, or either of them if they were going to become a toxic hive mind to reinforce each other's negative and insufferable behavior.

After 2 years, that'll fool you can have the nerve to tell me that maybe I'm not a good fit for the house anymore since I called his girlfriend toxic. And that was very toxic of him, so they can both have their Cesspool in the basement, as far as I'm concerned.

the boyfriend is so petty that he has decided that he will not be performing a house maintenance, which has caused me to find a new maintenance person. Of course, I am looking for a person of color, optionally queer, to replace him! I have no qualms with putting money in another (queer) POC's pocket!

After telling him that he's being replaced and that I've informed the landlord, he tried to discourage me in doing so after I'd already done it. He said that complaining to the landlord directly threatened the cost of rent, and no such thing happened. The people that own this property clearly aren't as short-tempered and barbaric as he thinks they are. it is that was a concern, he should have known better than to refuse a work order being more aware of the consequences than I am. A part of me thinks that he expected me to beg him to fulfill the work order, when I've shown time and time again that I am very easy and quick to replace people. Some might even say "eager" to replace people.

This is all very strange to me that he suddenly acting this way over a woman. I don't know what kind of opioids she has in her vaginal mucus, but that boy has gone full-tilt bat-shit. I can hardly believe I had to replace the maintenance man, but I honestly love managing people, so it's a whole new challenge for me! Let's see what turns up!

Did she really...?

I think my housemate sat on my things. Not that my stuff isn't in the way, and it's not her responsibility to move them. But, if she wanted to sit in that particular spot she could have asked me to move my stuff. Not that the weren't other seating options, but I won't evade that my things are in a seating area. I'm just thinking this because there was a towel place mate at the table, and some of my things seemed slightly moved, but I shouldn't make up reasons to be mad at someone. That also means she sat on the bike lock, because that wasn't moved out of the chair. I don't know what she's on to be willing to sit on a bike lock.

This is so thanks I get for allowing her to move in here, which is a hundred dollars cheaper than her last place. She claims she's still broke, so that didn't even help. I basically went against my better judgement for no reason. And it doesn't help that she tries to mock me when I'm clearly doing something intentional. When we just hanging out, it's fine, because that's not a thing I went through the trouble of setting up. But, when we at parties and I try to set up a game to make an intentional space she wants to butt in with sracastic memes and be obnoxious. I call her out, and that's the end of it, because everyone knows I'm from Louisiana and we're born and bread to act out in front of people!

She wants to change the terms of her stay. We agreed to 3-6 months, like most house mates, but the future opportunities she was once looking forward to have been exterminated by the unfortunate cause of discrimination and ignorance. We had the talk of "what if things don't work out" and she still said she would honor the deal. Unfortunately, I was unaware that I was talking to someone that doesn't know what honor is. And, was even so entitled when readdressing it thinking I'm actually going to adhere to waiting every three months for a check in. We're checking in every month, after winter, because that's what I'm doing.

We stopped being friends months ago for a reason I feel like it's still being proven (that are related to a previous event). I'm starting to think 90% of Mpls's trans community is [omits violently hostile commentary] people I would not like to come any relationships with in the future. I keep having horrible experiences with trans house mates, but I've made a few trans friends, that I strongly feel I will continue to get a long with. I'm probably not going to try to have trans house mates after a while. I know cis people can be just as fucked up, but I've had decent cis housemates. ALL the trans ones have been terrible.

But, offline I'm going to see this shit show through until one of us moves out. I'm standing it out to the universe to bring better people into my life, and I don't even have to talk to her that much. As long as we don't have guests and she does her chores, we don't have to talk at all, really. And, she has positive qualities, like anyone else. She helped me out when I was homeless, I figured it would be fitting to help her not be homeless. But, I've repaid my debt to her, and I won't be helping her with anything else. And, realistically, she's not the only problem. But I'm sick of being surrounded by  abult-problem children. I want to be around people that care about themselves and others, and are more on my wave length of self improvement.

Only time will tell.