trying to get to general Assembly next year! // other travel plans!

I've already put in ten times more effort than previous years to try to get out to the Unitarian universalist association general Assembly! Next year it will be in Providence Rhode island, and I love Providence Rhode island! biggest my biggest issue in Providence Rhode island is that it's a small population and not a whole lot to do. My other biggest issue is that it's one of those small places that spread out making it hard to access. They could definitely stand a condensed Providence Rhode island, because there's not a whole lot there. And condensing it would make it more accessible. And will probably give it more stuff to do.

but if ever in my life I really wanted to hardcore settle down and have some serious peace and quiet, I know where to go. like, I'm in my fifties, I have adopted teenagers, ready to raise my kids. And then whenever I feel spunky, I can go hit up a rave at a warehouse squat. And I can do it anytime without any expectations. If I'm really bored is not hard to get to other places with more population and more events.

Back to the more near future! It would take a lot to get me to pass up going to Providence Rhode island again. I don't know if I qualify for any youth grants, outside of my age and being a person of color in lgbtq I'm not in any leadership roles at a congregation I'm not even a member of any congregations. If I don't qualify for any grants, I'm going to sign up as a volunteer and just hope and pray that I have the money to cover my travel and other expenses to get me too, enjoy my time while I'm out there, and get me from.

The following year is Milwaukee Wisconsin. I'm not going to go out of my way to get to Milwaukee, but if I move to Madison by that time, it's not inconveniencing me to go.

The following year is Portland Oregon. That's big maybe. But if I make the track all the way out to Portland I'm going to want to be out there for at least two weeks. But I'm not all that inspired to go out to the West coast anymore. And even and looking at it from a distance, Portland is overrated.

AND 2023 IS THE IRREFUTABLE, UNDENIABLE, UNMATCHABLE, REMARKABLE PITTSBURGH PENNSYLVANIA! Somebody would have to do a lot to keep me out of Pittsburgh Pennsylvania! Hopefully by then, I'll live there or I'll live somewhere close by. I highly doubt I'll still be here. But wherever I am I'm going to make all my efforts to get out to Pittsburgh Pennsylvania!

I'm not trying to be in Minneapolis Minnesota in 2023. Something tells me that this place isn't going to change. At least not for the better. It's definitely going to change for the worse in terms of gentrification. the good thing about Minneapolis is that it's not hard to get out of there. I can go to Omaha, Lincoln, Madison, Chicago, and a long list of other places if I'm going to go any further south. But really, I'm looking at Omaha a lot because I haven't been there yet. I just need a reason to go down there for a community that I connect with, and Branch off on my own from that connection. 

Iowa isn't totally out of the question, but it sounds like every place in Iowa would be too small for me. But I'm totally not opposed to visit. It's always better to see for myself. Iowa City, Boise, and Des Moines.

as long as I know I want to go I have a better chance of being able to get there!

Fell off my bike and going out of town

A goddamn bee flew into the ear chinstrap of my helmet and I spilled on the pavement! Fortunately I had my backpack and helmet on, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. There was no traffic, so this was not the worst case scenario. My legs really hurt, I scraped my hand a little, but I completely lost my bike Bell.

it sucks that this is happening right before I go out of town. I hope that I'm not in too much pain, or else I'll have to cancel my trip to go to the hospital.

but I am looking forward to going out of town. Even though it's Madison Wisconsin, it would be great to meet some new people and see some different sites. I got hooked up with a host that lives close to downtown in most of the events that I'm going to attend, so it's pretty written in the stars for me to attend this event. I'm not looking forward to being stared at like a freak by white people, though.

Digital Nomad set up?

I've been talking myself into setting up to be a digital Nomad for my next round of travels, in a few years.

I'm starting to order things now, and joining social groups, and seeing what works. it's all a matter of equipment and being able to generate money. Mostly remote jobs. I want to be able to afford hostels and hotels, or build personal relationships from a long distance so I'll have someone that I know that I can stay with when I visit a place, while I travel.

I'm probably not going to totally get out of shelters, I've been played dirty by couchsurfing hosts too many times. Of course, I've met great people and had times I wouldn't trade for anything! But the bad times made me wish I could afford a hostel or hotel, and I don't want to have to wish for that anymore. Also areas that are saturated with certain types of people that don't like certain types of people -like myself-, and I can't find a place to stay, and there are either no shelters or they're all closed by the time I've realized I'm in trouble.

At the core, I need to be able to afford emergency transportation and lodging, or a last-minute bus ticket to a different location. In thriving success, I want to be able to afford leisurely transportation and lodging, and really enjoy myself in comfort. Staying with someone I already know in a comfortable setting would also be grand!

Full transparency, there is some great shelters out there. What sucks is having to walk around with all your stuff all day, unless you find a place to hide it or the rare occasion the place you're staying has access to some sort of cheap or free lockers. And I can stand to stay in the shelter as bad as the Salvation Army one in Colorado Springs or Cleveland for a week. the shelters were people really worse off are the ones with the early turkeys. Some shelters in New Mexico have a curfew of 4 pm. a lot of places still have free food and a place to sit your stuff.

I've been wanting change for a long time, though. And I'm now in the right position in life to be able to make that happen. I'm not going to waste this opportunity! And I hope more opportunities open because of this!

Racism a-foot? - Couchsurfing members

On this round of travels, I've started considering getting a van more critically. 3 major issues it would solve is "Were can I put my stuff?" "Where am I sleeping?" and "How can I get there?" I would rather ride the bus, but I'm sick of not having a place to stay and no place to put my things so I can really enjoy myself without having carry all my stuff around everywhere with me.

A lot of my couchsurfing requests went ignored by people listed as available. Being rejected has it's own effects, but ignored is obviously different from being rejected. When my requests go ignored I take it personally. Moreso, when it's white men. Most any other group will get back to me, including white women. I have things clearly laid out on my profile, including I'm a black activist and I'm trans and I travel with no money, so I'm not surprised that I would get rejected but being ignored is disrespectful to the time I've taken out to write a costume greeting and request. I've talked to my white counterparts, and they don't have the same issues in difficulty finding a place to stay and being ignored as I do. Not saying all the attention they get is legit or safe. That brings in the issue of misogyny and rape culture to be addressed.

I've come to the conclusion that I need to do SOMETHING different because most of the CS community being fragile, threatened white men is hurting my traveling experiences.

Fired and pushed back places

Shortly after I made that last post, I got fired from that dank job a few weeks later. I know I don't want to be a cashier for the rest of my life, and there was no way they were going to force me to. Either they were going to promote me or I was going to quit or get fired, and this is the outcome. Seward Co-op was very much a terrible place to work with a hidden agenda for keeping people of color up front where everyone can see them and really giving them opportunities and higher paying positions. I couldn't even get a higher-paying Floor position, even though I got into a different department that didn't pay not one penny more.

At first I was very bitter over the particular incident that happened, because it involved my direct supervisor at the store manager setting me up to get fired. And since I had already put in my notice, on paper I quit so I couldn't file for unemployment. But now I look back on the entire situation, and learned plenty of new information to know that I am better off without that job in my life. And it's cold outside, so I don't want to do any more moving around than I have to! The job was also very physically taxing. Seward Co-op has terrible ergonomics and its cashier Pit, and the cashiers do way more bending and stretching than they should have to. I develop very serious neck pains and carpal tunnel in both my arms. I started visiting a chiropractor shortly before I got fired and continue treatment after, and both of those issues have cleared up nicely! I was making terrible pay and never got a raise until just before I got fired. It was not worth my time, energy, and certainly not worth my health!

People have been very generous to me and have been donating to help me cover my monthly expenses. I have also been donated food, so I certainly haven't been starving! I'm very appreciative to all the people that have reached out to help me in my great time of need, and I will be sure to pay it forward to others in need!

Unfortunately, this means I've had to push back my travel plans all the way to January! Seward Co-op was a shitshow from beginning to end. I started out only making $10.40 until a whole year where I went up a 25-cent raise and then they fire me an entire month before my notice, which led to me having to push back my trip. And having less time for the trip, I also had to cut out a destination. The destination was picked for other reasons, one of which the couch surfing scene being very deficient.

As usual, I have no idea how the trip itself will go. I'm not having much luck on finding a place to stay but my destination seem to have a lot of shelters available. I'm sure something will work out, and if it doesn't it's not like I have to stick with it forever.

Travel plans have changed slightly // A lot of changes

I made that video some WEEKS ago. Since then, I've cut out traveling back to AZ and  MN, and I'm only going to the southeast, but I'm only going to TN, AL, and GA.

//

I may skipping a lot in between this, but I've shut down the punk house and communal house model for my current dwelling. No one wanted to do it, and one of the housemates is so insensitive to the point of not being worth this being a punk house. I can't call this a radical safe space, with people thinking it's ok to say "faggot" or any such terms in the house. And, the other housemate doesn't even talk to us, anymore. They started cutting themselves off, and now they have a tv, so we don't even see them anymore. But, now I don't blame them. We're terrible housemates for each other. It would be best if I let them go and looked after myself, now. I would rather it not be like this, but there's no other way, now.

My original plan was to come back in April, but that's much less likely to happen. It's still really cold in April, and I would much rather do what best for my bodily health. It's easier to get a job than it is to find a place I'll be able to afford. And, I can continue to look for a new place while inside here. I really don't have to talk to them that much, and it's better for my mental and emotional health that I don't. I agree with others that I've talked to that I didn't come back to the house, at all, but I'll just see what happens, and do what's best when the time comes.

Traveling this WINTER!

Vicarious

Someone once outwardly told me that they wanted to live vicariously through me, as a traveler. I was a little creepy by it, but I had sympathy for the person and their situation. As we got to know each other, my sympathy lessened and my wariness of the person increased. That aside, it's the feeling that goes along with the idea. It is really a good intended thing to want to do something through someone else, not even by real proxy?

Once upon a time, I thought it would be a good idea to have sex with someone because I know that a way to get aura to rub off on someone is to make it a literal thing. They rejected me (, and I'm glad they did) and I turned jealous of their luck. They had other factors working for them, however - they are a heterosexual, tall, college educated, white male - my antithesis. It also dawned on me that I would not be as privileged as many of my traveling counterparts, but for some reason THAT really hit me. I've heard of white travelers getting rides where as colored travelers have a much harder time, and have to work harder to be able to get traveling tickets. I've mostly traveled by bus, and of my own conviction for the sake of my safety. I also have to worry about myself as a female. At least if some freak tries to attack me on a bus I will have the opportunity to publicly humiliate someone with me being in the right. I'll do my best to beat the shit out of them, as well.

Now-a-days, I've opened myself up to rideshare options. Having to buy a ticket all the time is taxing, and since I know I will beat the fuck out of someone if they try anything I'm very secure with myself in the situation. It's all about the instincts to feel out a situation, though. If anyone gives someone any red flags that means don't do it. It's a learned behavior for many but I hope everyone isn't put in such a dire situation that means they wouldn't be able to come back from it. There's also the traveling safety measures - take pictures of the plates and contact trusted people on who you're with and where you're going. You can even go with the "If you don't hear back from me in this amount of time call the cops/ other trusted persons". I'm also carrying more than my hand-to-hand skills as a weapon.

I don't see why anyone would want that, though. Why life through a person with such insecurities and standards? I choose the hard way of doing this; I know there are much more privileged travelers but whatever means they've come by. Have a vehicle gives them more privilege over me, and also more responsibility with said accessibility. Why want to do anything by proxy of someone at the bottom of the social food chain? It logical for me to envy someone at the top, but what do you gain from admiring someone at the bottom? I just can'[t understand.

So much

A lot of time has come past with a lot of events. I've joined and left fandoms. Fallen in and out of love with places and people. Joined and left communities - some communities even being shut down while we were having fun. I think I've grown a lot since my last blogger post (on the previous blog page), but a lot goes on in a person's 20s. I've become a dedicated traveler, which is a path that I know is going to get me where I want to be as a person.

I've tried over sites, but Blogger really is the best place for me to post my serious feelings. I want to keep track of them, because I want to keep in mind who I was to help me appreciate who I am. I've been through a lot, so far, and I know I have so much more to go. My personality and values are going to be the last things to change, but how I handle things always varies with a situation. I'm actually move serious than I have room to be, because I want o go with the flow. It makes thing easier, and I feel like it's the best path to keep me from being an angry person.

I'm coming to the point in my life where I'm coming to terms with my chooses, and I have to stop bashing myself for everything I do. So far, a lot of what I've done has gotten me where I want to be, but maybe not in the ideal situation that I would want to be WITHIN the bigger picture of it. I've gotten more into my spirituality and self-care. I still belly dance, but I've decided against making it a marketable skill (at least for now). Yoga, and those other things are still going on when they can. Due to recent conditions I haven't been able to get a lot of sleep or do self-care things, but even that has changed now and will change even more in the future.

I do more than just women's rights and LGBTQ rights, now-a-days. I focus on everything linking to racial justice - mass incarnation, Black Lives Matter, poverty, and so on. I also promote alternative/ self sustaining ways of living - squatting, permanent camping, earth-shares, etc. Many times I've considered traveling with a political theme, but it seems like that would disrupt the "going with the flow" thing. I keep from burning myself out by addressing matters as they come up, rather than walking around with everything on my back all at once.

And, still today... I'm very much still a bi and trans individual. I've become more proud of myself in a racial way. I use to be a very unhappy black person. Now, I'm a mildly discontent black person, but more so because how other people address me over how I address myself. Police brutality is the HEADWAYING issue, so it's show up and show out time for all the modern negros.

One recent theme that really been getting on my nerves - on a personal level, is when I say something about "my future wife" men really the need to make the interrogation with "or husband, you never know". First of all, I don't need to be corrected. What I said was right, and if I want your input I'll tell you what it is. Secondly, I'm not here for you to adjust for your amusement. Third, if you wouldn't do it to a men, don't to a woman/ female/ vagina wielder. Or, if you wouldn't do it to a hetero don't to it to a bi, gay, etc - or vise versa. Forth, with that attitude way would I want a husband. You're already showing me that men don't have any respect for me so why should I put up with that? I don't need someone with a penis to own property or sign documents. I'm not reproducing. I can lift and open my own things, and when I can't I have tools to help me. I basically don't need men, for the "purpose" of "being men". They're cool to hang out with, when they aren't being misogynists or any other kind of hate, just like any other non-male/ man person. That's all they mean to me. I'm still very sexually attracted to men, but that's nothing sexy about misogyny and the patriarchy.